December 10, 2001 - 9:36 a.m.

Shaving your cat?
Mood:

Err... ok, before I begin my 'weekend' story, I just wanted to put this quote here I grabbed from Queen Jen's diary, so here goes: "I worry about becoming the kind of person I wouldn’t respect.", I think that pretty much sums up how I feel. So thank you. And now onto my story.

So ok, it is Friday and I'm totally late to meet Red at the SkyTrain thanx to my mom, I had a good chance to be on time except she had to stop by the hair shop and go on about manicures and facials with me standing there twirrling my thumbs... mental note to self: maybe I should get her a manicure/facial for x-mas? In any case, I finally make it and Red is there, all decked out waiting for me. He just did his hair so he's looking extra hot, and he's wearing this shirt I really like on him, all very well put together, he has style.

I get in the car and we take off, we get a little ready at his house, I just needed to re-touch my makeup, then we're off to that stupid restaurant I kept on bitching about since I found out we'd be going there. Practically everyone is already there, he told me like Ed was going to ask Ang to marry him, I thought that was INSANE, so the whole entire time at dinner I kept on looking at them thinking "Oh man". And then there was Red, who basically kinda made me feel like I shouldn't be there. I think other ppl might have noticed as well. The ppl I WOULD have talked with were way beyond tired to care, I was totally bored out of my mind and Red kept on ignoring my little remarks (like GOOD remarks, I don't mean the usual wisecracks I pull) so I just decided to shut up and keep quiet before ppl REALLY start to wonder why every time I go to talk to him he starts talking over me to like another person. That really made me feel like shit, to top it off I ended up paying for dinner, which I TOTALLY wouldn't have minded except HE asked ME to go with HIM AND then he made me feel kinda shitty. From my POV, the person who asks the other person to go somewhere with them pays... but ok, that's just one of my weird rules.

But like I said, to sum up, if I left there feeling good, I wouldn't feel like I was made a privelage to be there. In any case, the service at that place was fucking horrible, to top it off, they added it (as a mandatory tip really) TO the bill, this pissed EVERYBODY off because everyone thought they harshly didn't deserve it, the food wasn't too bad though, so maybe that made up for it for me at least, it's still never going to be one of my fave places to go eat at. Then we finally headed out and I think things got worse from there. We got no desert so I just felt like getting drunk on a bottle of Bailey's (trust me, it would have knocked ME out), but in the end I decided to forgo the possible hangover the next day.

Anyway, then like I said, things got worse from there. I threw a tantrum, to put it in Red's words, and he basically said "Look at you, you're almost 21 and you're still throwing tantrums!", then he said a bunch of stuff about how much I totally treated him like shit and didn't respect him AT ALL. That instead of treating him like a friend I basically treat him like the worst person in my life ever. And btw, MY "Tantrums" consist of ME not talking to RED... I just wanted to clarify that. Then to piss him off I took my shirt off and dumped it on the ground (err... outside), and yes, I was freezing ass, had a nice bra on though, and I totally wanted to just LEAVE the whole mess behind, it was totally horrible and stupid, and I would have done it too if I wasn't so bloody cold, but he pissed me off when I said I want to go home right now and he said "I wasn't planning to do so much driving, now we'll have to go get gas"... gee, thanx for the favour, remind me to like get my own car.

I think I'm making him sound bad, but to ME anyway it WAS just THAT bad. Then the whole entire way he was driving me, I kept on thinking, you are so stupid, I can't believe you'd just like dump me off at home, thanx, but eventually I just told him that I don't want to go so we turned around and came back home. I think I cooled off by then and he apologized for being so petty, I think I reached the ultimate "I hate you" phase, so the only thing from there is to go down, not up, so like I said, we made the bed and then just talked some and went to sleep. I think he held me the entire time at night. The next day it was a bit better. We went out for breakfast this time to a GOOD place, nice yummy food, I ended up snacking the whole entire day on something or other, it was good though. We ended up watching "Head over heels" and Red spilled a bunch of ice tea on me, thank gd my pants were off, but it went all over my legs so I had to take a shower and he came with me.

It wasn't sexual per ce. I did mention my weird thing with bathrooms... I think it's sufficit to say that I don't mind ppl in there with me. Anyway, but I ended up shaving Red's kitty, that was fun. I do my own, thanx ;) Yeah, I know that sounds totally hilarious, but he trusted me AND that razor, I was pretty impressed, he doesn't trust me to touch his neck, hehehe. It was loads of fun and I was thanking MY own shaving experience, I hope he's not too ichy, I don't shave my bikini area, and for all the women up there I pray you do likewise, yanking hurts, but it hurts only once, keep that in mind :)

And then lastly, I kinda hate to say this after just the talk I had with Red, we had sex. Well, ok, I'm making that sound rather bad, but it wasn't. It was quite nice. He's like pretty nice when he wants to be and I think he didn't want to get there on purpose. It was nice anyway, and I was totally horney so that's how I justify it. It didn't by any means make me "Fall in love all over again".

11:47 a.m.

I could just like throw a SCREAMING tantrum, now THAT'd be a real tantrum, Red is being totally impossible and he's totally over-reacting and he's saying that I am. Plus to top it off he just I swear told me "because i know you are a good friend to others... but for now you're not being a friend to me". Well no, you see, it doesn't work like that. My reply to that was: "but ok, if you say so... I haven't seen Konk in over 3 months, I haven't been out with Nags in over 4 months, the last time I talked to Konk was 3 weeks ago and the last time I talked to Nags ONLINE was 3 months ago, 1 month ago in person at Safeway", and yet they're not complaining. I think he's just toally taking the time I AM online talking to him for granted. Or the time we see eachother, it's so lame, I don't care, just don't tell me I suck plz.

12:06 p.m.

I wish I could say something inspirational like "Wow, working out makes you feel GOOD"... or something to the effect of something those stupid ass store Barbie dolls say when you pull their string "Cookies for friends are a good thing!" - oh wait, that might be Martha Steward. In ANY case, I can't, because I JUST dawned a bag of Jalapeno chips and I wish I could say it's cuz I'm depressed but no, it's because I finished my period so for the next 3 weeks from here on I'm back to my regular ravenous appetite.

Synonymously, I think the 'appetite' thing also needs me to write a story. I really want to be some sort of pillar people can take strength from and try to change themselves IF they have the desire to, like Queen Jen. She's too kool. I mean, I need to write her, I used to be a size 16, I know what it feels like.

I think my story would be about just the struggled of loosing weight, or SOMETHING, or a fictional story about non-fictional topics LIKE changing oneself and loosing weight for the purposes of inspiration and I dunno, just stuff... yey I'm being the ever interesting author here.

On a lighter note. Yesterday we finally got all the lights up and running and the whole house just looked and FELT SOOO damn surreal I stayed up till 12 because I didn't want that feeling to just disappear in the morning. It was that ultimate 'X-mas' kinda house, right before Christmas, except I think for the baking. But ok, we had the X-mas tree lit up like a firecracker, the lights outside were filtering in through the steamed up windows. There was a raging fire on in the fireplace AND to top it all off... wonderfully large snow flakes littered the ground and sky, blowing in towards the balcony and close into the window, only to flutter down onto the floor.

I actually, for once, had the whole house to myself for a couple of hours, the parents left me alone to tend the fire (I feel so welfare, j/k). They had to go grab some meat from my uncle & aunt. In either case, I was there alone. Had to re-stoke the fire at one point because it just died completely, then I just kept on poking it and adding more logs, it was so much fun, & Red and I were on the phone, for once NOT fighting, just totally talking and drooling over food! Just an overall wonderful end to a very slow ass day, what can I say, I think the X-mas spirit has gotten me, hopefully, or I'll need to take some prozac.

3:20 p.m. - Joined "Bite-Me"

Well, lets see if I get approved, but that ring is SOOOO me! I'm such a nut, but at least I'm an honest nut, and I'm still thinking about that neto Kanji tattoo of antient words of Japanese wisdom that speaketh of how thou shalt ignore every gd damn stupid ass thing everybody says to you that's shitty and makes you feel bad because basically THEY SUCK... and the words are "Kiss My Ass". And for the sake of me, lets hope it's only 3 characters because my ass isn't that big.

4:20 p.m.

And a couple hrs later, DA figures out how to archive her entries... I'm totally kidding, I SO knew how to do this, big deal *looks around*. No well, I kinda figured it out just now but it rocks either way so who CARES, I wonder if you can archive like entire years? But I'm sure I can somehow figure it out. There goes archiving for me for a couple of months at least though. I like to do it monthly. I pretty much write an entry per day, so might as well do each month... in case I have more, like sometimes I make 2 per day (yup, slow days). OH cripes I need more money!!! I hope Bite-Me accepts me though *crosses fingers*. I know that sounds kinda lame, but I prefer to join rings I need to do some work for... like sex. I'm kidding, but could use some money for boobs. FUCKING SOMEONE GIVE ME BOOBS!!! :)