December 11, 2001 - 11:10 a.m.

I'm being constructive.
Mood:

Ok, I am TOTALLY aware that the only links that make sense thus far on this page are the "New Entires" and "Older Entires"... but chill, I'm working on it, and this is partially in thanx to the stupidity of Windows NT which didn't install all the fonts I brought in like it was fucking supposed to have done! But it's a work in progress and if you like hover over each link you can see what it will be, they all WORK, the names are just a little wrong, a lot wrong.

But here I am, totally hungry out of my mind, and totally fucking around with E, he thinks he's harsh hot stuff and right now I'm in NO mood to be amused like that, when was I ever? I can't say I'm a good ass kisser... like I think Bridget Jone's Diary SUCKED MAJOR ASS! The movie was absolutely weak when it came to actors. They were bland and emotionless. The main chick didn't thrill me in Jerry Mguire let alone this movie, she was HORRIBLE, and don't even let me get started on Hugh Grant, this was the WORST I've seen of him. The other guy was just a moron, I totally disliked that movie and it honestly had a GOOD story, so what happened? I think once more, the intentions were good, but badly carried out, how the mirror of real life, jeez.

Back to hunger. I gained my 'grace' 5lbs back I need to loose by the end of this weekend, in time for the x-mas dinner. It's not like I want to big out, but I now I will, even if I 'halve' all the stuff on my plate, there's usually a TON of food, but I'll try to maintain some composure, holidays are coming up, that won't help either! :( I am going on a semi-little diet to loose those 5lbs and hopefully keep it off so, like I said, I'll have at least some leeway.

As per the diet plan, so far today I've had:

Breakfast:
1 cup plain rice w/soya sauce
1 - 1/2" slice plain tofu
1 cup mixed greens salad w/italian dressing
1 bite of a chocolate chip cookie

Lunch:
1 pear
1 slice of veggie pizza
1 cheddar perogie
1 cup mixed greens salad
2 cookies (yeah, I know)

Dinner:
As little as possible, but probably:
1/2 cup plain rice
1 cup mixed greens salad w/italian dressing
1 - 1/2" slice plain tofu w/soya sauce?

I need to figgen try and NOT eat tons for dinner because a) I need to be able to work out and b) I need to loose that frigging 5lbs... which would be a lot easier if I was harsh PMS'ing and everything.

OK I CANNOT STAND THIS ANYMORE! Let me have some fun and write what E and I are talking about *dies screaming*... I NEED to like try and not pick a fight with him.

He's talking about this new girl he's obsessed with, I'm so jalous, she's so pretty, and he is SUCH a DICK!... I totally do not like him for a LOT of reasons, and I feel soooo sorry for her cuz seriously, she's like so beautiful *sigh*, I feel bad now.

Everything that is italicized is me thinking to myself, some stuff I REALLY wanna say but know I should just keep my mouth shut.

E: she just moved here... plus Cornwall doesn't have the nicest or good looking guys -- You don't say.

plus she said she doesn't trust guys... never (since her last bf) and she said she allready trusts me -- I thought you said she was smart?

but i am a very trust worthy person, well at least i have been told -- I'd like to see a written statement, you are SUCH a fakeass it makes me sick! But I end up saying:

DA: so that's good at least -- And thinking: you're so full of yourself, to which he replies:

E: yeah... it is... plus she told me that she thinks she could fall in love with me... -- Naive much?

DA: well, your IQ's seem to match up, so why not :) -- What I really meant was: you're both stupid, what a waste.

E: we shall see what will happen... -- You mean, see right through you?

Ok, I just read our conversation, it cracks me up. He just thinks he's very intelligent, but oh man, I always keep on making fun of him and he NEVER gets it! Lol... like if this was Red he'd NEVER fall for that last remark! Lol, hell Ed wouldn't fall for that last remark, nobody would!

2:42 p.m.

I AM ALONE *looks around*. Damn... I have been on here for 2 days, that's to say, on my 'counter', hey I was CURIOUS ok :) and thusly 151 people have visited my site, that's not to say I don't pop it open like every 5 minutes (j/k), so say 40 of those were me, or something to that effect, I did make sure to check and see what/where/who's on my stats, the who applies to either new visitors, or re-visiting visitors, I assume re-visiting is me, no one in bloody hell would bother reading this for so long, or do they?... but in any case, I do thank all the ppl who DO come, yey you rock *hugs*.

But ok, lets recap my day here: I need to get my ass home and work out. I think I need to go shopping soon or I'll go mad (see how much MONETARY conviction I have... I frigging suck I just SAID I wasn't going to go shopping till I get my next 2 checks, I REALLY want to uphold it, so if anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them or I just might break), I also need to NOT eat more chips and/or cookies or bloody popcorn like that time I was going to eat half the bag ONLY, then I ate the whole thing! And yesterday I had half a cheesecake and half a bag of jalapeno chips... lol, I told you I can eat a bloody horse, not that that's good or anything.

8:51 p.m.

Ok, so I've bitched and whined on about my stupid ass application and it FINALLY gets here, this like one little blue piece of paper that is obviously way outdated because the year there is 19__ wtf? And I KNOW I suck and am leaving this till the last minute but I'm going to have to work out Wednesday, Thursday & one day on the weekend (probably Sat) because I get to go to Hannukah on Friday, yey me, on the upside, I hardly cheated on today's diet. Hardly, that is to say I DID have some fries (about 5), a cookie and some chips, but hey, I can't be too tough on myself... I didn't have the cheesecake though... yet... still... cheesecake... mmmmmm... think unsexy thoughts *shakes head*.

I think I need to go change my mood from abandoned to happy, lol, or go watch a movie and re-install Sims, man, Sims kicks ass.