June 01, 2003 - 1:44 a.m.

Well past midnight romp.
Mood:

Red just dropped me off from his house. We had a pretty nice day. One thing that still bothers me is that he keeps ditching me for work, that's so shitty. I didn't actually clue in till THIS weekend though because he said, "Oh, so should I just come over at 3?" I wondered why he wanted to get together so late but I assumed he needed to sleep in since he barely sleeps or something, but this morning the first thing he said was, "I have to go into the office to help with the upstairs." And then of course he phoned me up a couple hours later to tell me he'd be late because they wanted him to stay and help some more.

I mean, fucking hell. You rarely see me ANYWAY and you still refuse to make enough time for me, but then you insist on complaining about how little time we spend together, that's so annoying. Not to mention fucking Leekia phoned while he was at my house! I didn't get pissed off, I'm REALLY starting not to give a damn anymore, but still. I still do hate Leekia. He's such a fucking asshole.

Then the first thing I hear when I talk to his dad (when we got to his place) is something along the lines of, "Make him sleep more cuz he hardly gets any sleep." I didn't want to shrug my shoulders in front of him and say, "So, he never listens to a word I say ANYWAY, what would be the point." I should get some sleep *sigh*.

12:52 p.m. - Fucking eh.

Gd, Red is SUCH a fucking bastard. It's a long story but I basically really don't feel like being his friend anymore. Maybe he's just impossible to be friends WITH, I don't doubt that one bit. He even said so himself, oh well, how sad for him. I actually WISH I felt bad but I don't *shrugs*. Maybe when he comes back and has something nice to say, who knows. I'm actually way more pissed off at the fact that he didn't tell me he was ditching me COMPLETELY today because I would have gone out with Tina, or maybe fucking Kam and made out with him just to make myself feel better. How sad.

He doesn't even CARE about me anymore so why should I care about him? I felt so bad yesterday and he just totally left, never asked anything, just left, whatever. But I wouldn't have told him ANYWAY, we're no longer on the same comfort level. Like I said though, when things happen slower, it's a lot easier to take. I think next weekend I'm just going to do my own thing. If it's nice I'm going boating with my uncle for SURE. We were supposed to go today but it ended up being crappy outside, plus even if it WAS nice I wouldn't have gone because of course, I was supposed to see that asshole!

Well, all lessons are worth learning well. This was my lesson: don't ditch your plans for someone who doesn't give a fuck. Who'd rather work than be with you and listen to that fuck Leekia harp on him. I guess he made HIS bed, now he's going to have to sleep in it, and knowing fucking Red and his track record it'll be one long long sleep. I told him I didn't want to see him either if all he was going to do was sleep at my house. Fuck him.