July 15, 2003 - 12:08 a.m.

Gattaca.
Mood:

Oh what a strange day, and I'm ending it off with Gattaca. Damn I love movies, even the terrible ones have their charm (this one NOT being one of them). As far as genetics, people and so forth, this is by far one of the better executed movies out there, although this has always been a major interest of mine, mmmmm... genetics, there is NOTHING left to chance. I have reason to believe even random mutations aren't as random, how could they be? In a code composed of 2 pairs of only 4 letters there is no ROOM for mistakes, there is only order, and "What must be, shall be".

It's the brutal honesty everyone is afraid to face, because what is written in our genes is the whole book of our lives, many people would want to see it just to skip to the last page. What a waste. Ruined ending. And yet, we will soon be capable of doing JUST that, because aside from fate leading to accidents we will know exactly at what age and how we will die.

The cold, truthful brutality. Maybe this is why people love science. On one hand it's unquestionable, but on the other there is nothing BUT questions. Genetics is almost the opposite of science, and yet it is a science. What a conundrum.

But back to today. I woke up and started working at 9, then basically worked until 5, so a full day. I got a LOT accomplished. Got pissed off in the process though. I wanted to know how long it would take before my mom started bothering me. She lasted 1.5 hours. I told her to "get lost" while she left in a huff mumbling something about how I'm always busy but never busy to hang out with Red. In case she didn't notice I was busy because like a normal person who didn't take 2 weeks off to clean the house, I had to work.

Of course the Red thing is just self explanatory. Don't we somehow ALWAYS find time to see the people we WANT to see? That's not to say we don't want to see the people we have less time for, it's just a lot tougher. In her case, I'd rather be around someone who makes me feel GOOD. On the upside, she IS home for 2 weeks which means I get the car. I can't leave the house until Wednesday anyway, it's work work work for me all the way, I need to do some major catching up here.

Sunday was fun though. I bought more hair products (cripes Redken is INSANELY expensive), but the stuff DID come with a guarantee, which surprised me. Then we just hung out, it rained. Drove around. Red is incredable. It's hard to explain the things he does for me, it's more feelings than anything, although there's a LOT of action to back it up. He also gives me insane ideas and is tremendously supportive. I don't konw what I would have done without him. As an example: he gave me the idea to look at both dogs, poms and pugs and see which one I naturally opt for in the end. Since both interest me, why limit myself. So the last week of July and beginning of August we're going doggy hunting, together (now there's a treat for sure). Just checking out the different breeders to establish a relationship, ask questions, hang out with the dogs to see what they're like, etc.

But back to what I was saying about Red... it's the little things I DON'T see, the smallest things he says that get to me the most. I was at the office (when I had to go into WR to get my hair done) and he was in a meeting and I looked through his computer and he saved the page I sent to him a long long time ago of these pink heart CZ's... I was so shocked, but pleasantly surprised. Then yesterday he took a whole new way home to drop me off, even though it was quite late. To most people it would seem trivial, but I love people who remember what I tell them, and I love people who appreciate the fact that I hate monotony and I love little "adventures". He also knows that when we drive back from Ricky's to take the "scenic" route home and look at all the houses.

He also knows I love driving along the beach even though it's usually packed with people and you're chugging along bumper to bumper at 10 mp/h. He knows what I need to feel relaxed, to feel energized. He ALWAYS listens when I talk. It's strange but that IS perhaps by far the biggest thing he does... he's never told me to shut up, even though I'm sure there are days he wishes he had. I used to wish my parents were like that, but none of that matters anymore because I found it in Red.

And in the end, no matter HOW terrible they seem, I suppose because I stopped looking towards them for these things, I appreciate the things they DO have. I appreciate them more as people than parents. Not everyone is equipped to be a parent. I know they aren't. They're just not MEANT to be parents, but I guess I'm glad they were.

Today's exercise:
Walk (60 min)
Upper body weights (15 minutes) (with 10 lbs)