July 18, 2003 - 9:39 a.m.

Damn, so hot again.
Mood:

So today is starting out pretty early again. I can't sleep in my room, the sun is literally burning me alive at 6:30 so by 7 I need to get up to turn the fan on and open the window, but it's not exactly enough. I sort of tossed and turned until it was time to get out of bed and now I'm done all my work and about to head out to clean the house and maybe do some workouts later on.

I did the walk, 15 minutes of bike and abs yesterday. I think my abs are STILL improving, despite me thinking otherwise. I actually calculated how long I've been doing the actual ab stuff for and it's been around 5 and a half months, so not even 6 full months of honest to gd ab workouts. I don't know why I'm bitching. So instead I made a pact with myself to stick with it, at LEAST 2 times a week, or 3 when the weather cools down a bit more and stick it out for 6 more months. That would make it 1 year and see what happens. I keep on forgetting... these things really DO take time.

So today? I need to make a list of all the stuff I want to buy tomorrow, clean the house so I don't have to do it tomorrow and do work in case any comes up. I need to save some mulah for a new keyboard/mouse set. There's this insane bluetooth set from Microsoft. I've been drooling over it since yesterday, damn. All wireless... I care about the mouse the most because I've actually NEVER had a good mouse, but I could also use a nice matching keyboard.

Dea and I talked yesterday and she answered all of my questions. I'm GLAD we did, even though at times it seemed a bit brutal (from my end). I wanted to tell her everything and no bs, and she was kind enough to answer all of my questions. I told her though that there is NOTHING she can do that will NOT make me support her, and I DO support her marriage, I just wanted to know where she was coming from. Dea is definately "her own person", and she has a very strong character, and I know that's very hard for a lot of people to handle. She speaks her mind. I'm also glad she's happy, isn't that the most important thing? But I WAS worried. I WANT her to be happy so I want things to turn out for her, ESPECIALLY because I know her past relationships didn't work out. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't worry?

Dea's right about the age thing. People kept bothering her and telling her she's too young. In her defense I don't think she's too young, but the older you ARE, the less people question. They assume that with age comes some sort of great wisdom. I wouldn't suggest anyone get married at 18, at least wait until you're 20, because speaking from personal experience, a lot of women go through insane changes between those ages. It's almost like hitting a second puberty only it's more like "PMS puberty". By 20 you learn a little more about your mood swings and what ticks you off the most, but most importantly, you learn that taking it out on the ones who love you most isn't exactly the best way to go. But still, that doesn't mean that a 30 year old person is necessairly more mature than someone 18 years of age. It's all relative.

I suppose I WOULD feel better if they lived together. It's a LOT tougher to carry on a long distance relationship, but Dea already knows that, and she's been through it more than once before so I know she has experience going for her. But I know her reasons for choosing to live with her parents and if I was in her shoes I know I would have done the same. Hell, I'm doing the same right NOW. It's all about financial security. It's a lot easier to save up when you're living with someone else. And she's right... once she DOES move in with Dowah, she doesn't ever want to go back.