July 20, 2003 - 2:15 a.m.

Laptop.
Mood:

I know it may seem a little lame to be posting an entry dedicated to this BUT I feel it DESERVES its own entry so here goes: Red found me the laptop of my dreams. It's brand spanking new. In fact, so new I have to wait at least a month before it's out on the market, but as soon as it is, ta da. It's a crazy powerful HP widescreen laptop, TINY. The whole thing weighs a mere 5.6 pounds but with an almost 16 inch screen (did I say it was widescreen? Yup... *jumps around*) AND Centrino. Both of which I was DYING for, and it's HP, which sucks for home comps but we're talking about a high end business laptop. They look TOO kool for words though (HP's I mean). It'll cost me a nice 3 grand which I was willing to spend, and should last at least until I can afford another one. Damn. I swear I'm so excited it's difficult for me to get to bed. I KNEW not to buy that other one Red found for me. It was a 2,400 refurbished 16 inch regular screen, just as powerful as this one but a Compaq I think and weighed 8 lbs with a questionable batterly life. The HP can run for almost 6 hours.

And all this... just in time. The downstairs will be finished soon, hopefully. I just brought in a carpet sample from Home Depot. Then I can move everything down there, and with the wireless mouse and keyboard switch monitors in a flash so I can work in crappy 800 X 600 rez on this monitor doing my designs. Then put together a little comp for my mom and make the current comp a server and just tuck it away in the closet. All wireless, all connected to the internet. I can't wait.

Although I should probably quit shopping. I don't think I spent THAT much money this time though. It was fun. I ended up buying 2 pairs of pants though. One this darker tan and another rose pink. I love the rose pink ones, both MAVI. I was surprised they fit me though. Then some awesome new makeup, and a few tops, nothing too extravagant. Some accessories. Actually I bought this insanely cute hat thing. It's pink and it's adorable. It's like a pullover and I bought it because it looked cute but I soon realised it can serve a dual purpose: I can't drive with the windows down when my hair isn't tied up because it gets into my eyes so the hat thing keeps my hair out of my face. I guess, good for when I get my convertible ;) *laughs*.

*Hears rustling outside window... takes lamp and shines it down onto the patio*. Damn, I can't believe I'm looking at this. There's a pair of THE cutest raccoons cooing away. A mother and baby. Has anyone ever seen a baby coon up close? It's ADORABLE! Cute and fat and sort of rolling from side to side. Hehehe. I had half a mind to run down there and start cuddling it to death. Obviously not a good idea. Ohhhh the life though *sigh*. I love nature. I think this just ended on a high note though and it's probably time to go to bed.

1:38 p.m. - Red's paper.

I forgot to mention yesterday that Red got this HUGE ass article of him in the local paper! I'm so proud of him. It took up an entire page with a pic and then they had to continue it onto the next page under "Business & Finance". I hope he wins the Entrepenuer of the Year award though, that would be sssooo awesome for him and the company. Major exposure. He was funny though when we flipped through the paper I kept jumping around and asking him if he was happy and everything and he said, "Yup, everything's going according to plan." So I said, "You sound like someone who's trying to take over the world."

So right now I'm just sitting waiting for him to come over and exchange the ram. This comp is going to kill me. It's been crashing all morning so I'm afraid to open IE, I've been using Netscape. I got a few things accomplished though. Pre-shrunk the tan pair of pants so now it's all ready to be hemmed. I'll get my mom to measure it tomorrow. Too bad I couldn't wear them today though. They are ssooo comfy and awesome looking. Aparently teeny pants fit well. Well ok, STRETCHY teeny pans fit well. I noticed though that my legs ARE too fat for my body, not sure what I'll do about that. Because pants are made so that the smaller you are the shorter THEY are and the better they fit (because the butt area is also shorter so the pockets and seams lie where they're supposed to). So THIS time I was able to get the sizes I needed because they stretched in the leg area just enough for me to get the proper size. Usually that's not the case so I have to get something bigger and then the legs fit but nothing ELSE does, and I have pockets hanging in the crease of my leg/butt area, which of course looks like shit.

Well, back to the drawing board I guess... I'm still working out though, so at least that. The only problem is I can't do stairs for another full week because my mom is here 24/7 and she'd make me feel weird. I don't want to be all jiggling around and huffing and sweating with her standing there POSSIBLY making fun of me. No wait, scratch that, for SURE making fun of me.

I talked to Stacy this morning. She's such a sweetheart. Her parents forbade her to go on a week long hiking trip because she didn't get a job yet. That's so messed up. The only possible reason for their action is probably the loss of control (and not the job thing at all). They know she's growing up and will probably tell them to screw off one of these days so they're trying to exert as much control over her as possible. At least that's what happened to me for a while. My mom went mental. She kept bothering me about going out EVERYWHERE. She'd tell me to stay at home because I'm never home and no sleeping over and blah blah blah and so on and so forth. It lasted for about 2 years until I learned to ignore her. Even though she STILL does it today. Maybe a little less, but that's because I DID tell her off a couple of times and asked her what her problem was.

It's stupid too, I told Stacy, they probably don't realise that as soon as she DOES get a good stable job she'll probably move out and they'll loose their favourite person to pick on and control. As far as I know, the only non-messed up parental unit is probably Red's. He should feel like the luckiest person alive.

Dea wrote a little about her past today. I'm glad she did though, there's a lot about her a lot of people don't know, including me. I get bits and pieces here and there, but it's nice to gain some insight. I like understanding the people I'm closest to.

I thought of doing that as well but there really isn't any point. I wrote that little story about my years in private school (even though it's not done yet and I have a little ways to go, in which case I'll edit it all and repost it in some sort of cohesive order). But other than that I don't see the point of dredging up the past anymore, and Dea's right, even though you can say a million times you're not looking for pity, people would STILL pity you. If I did anything, I'd treat it like a story and try to disconnect it from myself so people can relate to it. Read it, and feel like they're reading about someone much like themselves, not me, and not someone who's looking for pity. Perhaps when I get the laptop I'll have more time to write someplace other than my room (which tends to get a bit boring, I used to write on the floor when I got my first laptop, it felt MUCH better).

I had more than a few years to move past everything, and now it seems trivial, and like it happened to someone else. The only thing is that, I had absolutely ZERO control over EVERYTHING that happened. They weren't my choices, for which I had to suffer. I think it's harder to deal with that than your own mistakes. But at least most of it is over now, and while I make as many mistakes now as the next person, it's a lot easier when you're driving the car.