July 28, 2003 - 4:15 p.m.

What a funny funny day.
Mood:

I'm having a hilarious day. Not from a "ha ha" funny perspective but more so that this WAS supposed to be my day off and I did 1 hour of work and then I run around the rest of the day doing laundry, getting ready for the trip, giving myself a manicure and a pedicure and looking for junk on the internet. I'm sure I'll get loaded up with work tomorrow that's why I'm trying to clear off all the "little" things today. I still have to do arms though, arms and walk. I did the stair run, that was a killer.

So now the day is drawing to a close. I've been looking at jewelry. I FINALLY found the earrings I want, unfortunately they're 39.99 American, for 2 carat CZ's... I dunno if I'm willing to spend that much. I guess I'll have some time to think about it. I did order a ring though, I may need to get it resized so I hope it doesn't cost that much. But if I do then I'm taking some other jewelry along with me to have some stuff re-plated and ask about having a custom navel bar made, but we shall see. It'll be nice to kill several birds with one stone though!

I've been thinking about Psychology lately though and decided that the reason some people are against it is that they're afraid of the truth. Not so much the truth in what you already KNOW, but the things you're unwilling to face or admit to. Especially those. For example: you could be a person who appears strong to everyone around you. You seem to handle everything ssooo well everyone wonders HOW on earth you DO IT! To everyone else you're this happy, put together individual everyone envies, but inside you're still unhappy so you lash out with destructive behaviour, hiding it from others. The problem is that you're NOT in control. And you're NOT a strong person at all, but you're so afraid to admit that and are so intent at proving otherwise that you forget who you truly are. So instead of admitting that you ARE "weak" and need help and to share the load with others, you hide everything acting like Superman.

You'd never know what's making you miserable or self destructive until someone else told you that you need help to get through life. That you're NOT as strong as you think, but to become as strong as you WANT you need to share life, and share your troubles with others, and ASK for help.

That's just an example, but most people are like that. The thing that bothers us the most, that is the underlying cause of most of our problems is oftentimes the most elusive to pinpoint, and it's almost impossible to do it ourselves. We need someone to help us through it, OR we can go learn how to do it ourselves. There's always that option. But as far as the brain goes, in the end, it's a machine and it only works a certain way, so there are ways to approach it to make the discovery process much easier.

4:35 p.m.

Crap. I forgot to ask Dea when she's coming back from her trip.